May 2013
892 posts
sleepthroughthealarm:
i just typed “the perks of being a waffle” instead of wallflower
charmancler:
i’m not even funny what am i doing on this website
twerking-amporas:
ghilles:
snarg:
when skinny people call themselves fat and you’re heavier then them
Those chunky potato fry things are delicious.
they are called smiley fries you uncultured shit
vvallabye:
cause of death: failing to keep an eye out for selener
katherlne:
my mom was right u all are a bunch of internet hoodlums
enayalate-h8-this-year:
bbanditt:
slett:
winchestercodependency:
ibecameacat:
what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do
dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off
“People with vaginas”
what are those called again
I can’t remember
armisael:
i was reading a list of pancake flavors at this restaurant and one was buttermilk chocochip and i read it as benedict cumberbatch
australiansanta:
u know when someone really annoying is talking and you can almost hear the XDDDDD in their voice
metaphorically:
i was crying in my car in front of the mcdonalds near my house eating french fries and listening to my sad playlist in the car and a black guy tapped on my window and just gave me life changing advice “its going to be ok lil nigga you can do it”
earthnation:
my heart is full of hate and swag
pizza:
graffeti:
i wonder what its like to be so hot that everyone gets nervous talking to you
ohhh so that’s why no one ever talks to me!
zackisontumblr:
you know a text post has made it to the big time when it gets stolen by twitter parody accounts
tapdancers:
saw a man at the beach drowning. he yelled ”help, shark, help.” i just laughed. that shark wont help him
me: makes a mistake
me: thinks about mistake every night for the next 7 years
thefandommenace:
I just want a fruit salad that isn’t 98% of these fucking things
brbjellyfishing:
Maroon√25
isurvivedthekobayashimaru:
I was at walmart the other day, and I was sitting on a bench waiting for my mom to pay, and I was braiding my hair because that’s something I do when I’m bored, and this dude walks by and says, “hey baby, what else can you do with your hands?” I gave him my most polite smile and said in the sweetest way possible, “strangle you.”
And I think I actually scared him...
snapchatting:
i’m not funny in real life or online i suck in both worlds
snapchatting:
so basically i’m just a really shitty version of Hannah Montana
donttouchmynewtonballs:
when you’re in a really bad mood and someone tries to cheer you up
I’m the type of person who looks at the menu for five minutes but ends up ordering the same exact thing every time
rumour:
Ugly people who have hot boyfriends/girlfriends give me so much hope
pgay:
”if u like someone just tell them!!” yeah sure goodbye
iamonlydorb:
sucysucyfivedolla:
the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg
oh no I’m not falling for this one again
